Beat Down Burnout

Do You Not Fit In?

Have you ever been in a job and were told you didn’t fit in? Or worse, you actually feel that you don’t fit in? Have you been told your sense of humor didn’t fit, or you were inappropriate, but no one could verbalize how, or why? Not even your supervisor or the administrators?

Here’s my explanation: my explanation is that your primary personality code was in conflict with the primary personality code of the people around you, or your direct supervisor. Let me show you. If your primary code is ‘Blueprint’ or ‘Knowledge’, your personality is going to conflict with someone whose primary code is ‘Action’ or ‘Nurturing’, and vice versa. This is because these groups have very different values. They aren’t better or worse; right or wrong; just different. (Don’t know your personality code? Go to and crack your code now).

 Unfortunately, some people take these things to extremes. I have seen people villanized for their different values. In the workplace, I’ve seen people told that they were in violation of a dress code or a social media policy when, in fact, no such written policy existed. I have seen people written up for doing something that was perfectly acceptable at their previous place or work, but not at their current one-even though there is nothing in writing stating they cannot do that. This is what personality differences can do. Have you ever had trouble at work because of a “personality conflict?” or a “difference of opinion?” I have seen such things cause good people to leave a position. This is costly to their employer and devastating to the employee. More than once, I have had a friend or colleague tell me that they have looked back on their career and come to a conclusion: every time they didn’t fit in at work, it was because their primary personality was in conflict with the other personalities around them, or in conflict with their direct supervisor. If they had known about personality science at the time, or specifically about the B.A.N.K. methodology, they would have been much happier and more successful. They could have made it work.

 What does this mean for you? If you are in conflict, it’s simple. I have access to a proven system that can make your life easier and more productive. It can reduce your stress, both at work and at home. Why at home? It is not unusual for a person to marry someone of an opposite, or conflicting, personality type. Part of what we do in coaching, is working on relationship communications. Your relationships at home are the most important ones. I have the secret, the science and the system to making that work smoothly and successfully.

Let me give you some more examples. I knew a traveling physician who was let go because she asked the staff not to interrupt her every 30 seconds while she was writing orders on a critical patient, unless the patient’s status worsened. You see, they were interrupting her to have her fax the face sheet to another hospital, or to speak with the Charge Nurse about staffing issues. None of these things are a physician’s responsibility, while the patient’s orders are strictly the physician’s responsibility. This physician did not raise her voice. She did not get short with anyone, and she had been interrupted multiple times during a very serious obligation. Why would that be a problem? Let’s look at the cards again. In this case, the physician, was doing a Blueprint task. When she asked for space to complete that task, she asked in a way that was not Nurturing enough for her coworkers. That created the conflict. You see, most of her coworkers in that environment were primarily Nurturing.

 Now why don’t we go back and look at the two earlier examples. For someone who is being told that they have violated a policy that doesn’t exist, what’s up with that? In that case, the person who is being bullied-yes, I used the word bullied, because that’s what it is-isn’t Blueprint enough. The person bullying them is being very Blueprint and calling into place a policy that doesn’t exist, because Blueprints value structure and predictability. Most likely the person being bullied was an Action, who values spontaneity, flexibility and excitement.

 I have learned to work with all four of the primary personality types, to speak with them, to listen to them, and to understand their codes. If this is something you would like to learn, then contact me. Either send me an email, or set up a free consultation.

Now, I started my coaching business to battle bullying and burnout in the workplace. You can see from my examples how differences in personalities can lead to bullying in the workplace. In this same way, it also promotes burnout. This lack of understanding and communication is one of the primary drivers of burnout in the workplace. If this is something you’ve dealt with, or have seen in your workplace, please reach out to me. I have several programs for dealing with this. We periodically run specials, so don’t hesitate to send an email and ask about our current specials.

 For more tips on how the BANK methodology can help you in your day-to-day life, subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Nanette Nuessle