That may seem like an odd question. Bear with me. This week, an online friend who is also a physician, posted about how he would like to take #2weeksoff from medicine to complete a project. I reflected on that. How many times have I had a project, or moved, or helped my children through a conflict or medical problem, without taking any time off from Medicine? A week of work in Medicine is normally 60-80 hours a week. My adult life has meant often working over 100 hours/week while raising kids, going through multiple moves, and running various businesses on the side. On top of this, I’m always the first doc asked when someone else bails on their shift. Sound familiar?
How many times did I sell my children short by not being there for them. What harm has that caused them. What is the long-term cost of that? How many times have I shorted myself on much needed rest and relaxation? What did that increased stress do to me? What did it do to my family and friends? What are the long-term health effects? We go into Medicine, or healthcare, with an inflated need to take care of everyone around us, as well as an inflated sense of duty and responsibility. We need to start thinking about the ROI on that. We need to start taking care of ourselves, and our relationships with the people who are most important to us. It’s okay to say NO to our organization. Saying NO to them is saying YES to ourselves.
I know I’m not the only one facing these situations. I coach people on this. I help people set boundaries and negotiate for themselves. Let’s discuss that.
Do you listen to answer, or listen to understand? Or, do you take it one step further and listen to value. Listening to value means listening so intently to someone that you can discern their values. This level of listening not only leads to fewer miscommunications, it also compels you to value that person more.
I teach a method of personality science that is based on a person’s values. We code peoples’ personality and call it a BANKCODE. You can get yours here. I coach people to use this system and information to learn about their code, and to learn to see and listen for the codes of the people around them. Each code has its own language based on their values. When clients learn to listen for the values of the people around them, communication becomes more effective. By speaking to the person across the table in their values, rather than your own, you break down barriers and build bridges.
Did you know that there is a primary code for administrators? Did you know that it is different from physicians? Did you know that their code is different again from nurses? You can get an explanation of this by downloading my Communication Guide from my website, This information can change your life.